[ He had a strong grip on her and it only continued to get tighter as the time progressed. She's not sure what's causing it but she didn't really argue but trying to keep herself at a somewhat comfortable position with fangs buried in her neck.
The feeling was still uncomfortable as continued to drink on her blood, but Ishtar was a bit surprised when he suddenly pulled away from her. There's a bit of a wince at the sudden retraction. She was blankly looking at his face for a moment, smeared with her blood. She felt a bit light headed, but if anything it wasn't something she couldn't quickly take care of.
It took her a moment to register what he had to say, but she was also light headed so after a few minutes of silence she managed to speak softly to him. ]
...W-What? What do you mean?
[ She knitted her brows together. His eyes were still red and she reached to wipe off the smear of blood that was on his lips. ]
[The touch was like a lick of fire and he snapped his head away from her, retreating. That single gesture reminded just what he had done and his eyes immediately flicked to her neck that was still bleeding from where he'd bitten her and-- He bent down at the same time he pulled her forward and ran his tongue up her collarbone where the blood had made a path and up her neck where the wound still bleed from his treatment. He remained in place using his powers of a vampire to take the pain away until the bleeding slowly stopped flowing freely.
He stayed in place even when the blood had finally coagulated, his lips buried in her neck as the enormity of the guilt he'd felt coming from her fully seeped into his blood. What had happened to make her?]
... The guilt. It was in your blood. It -- [His hands ran down her shoulders, until his arms curled around her waist bringing her closer.] What happened to you there?
[ He only recieved more confusion from her, but then it made sense. She sort of told him to do something he probably really hated doing. It wasn't like they had a choice in the matter. Again, she would rather be of some help to him than watching him struggle in pain due to his blood lust. Even if it only satiated his thirst a little, it worked. That was all she wanted. She didn't want him to suffer in silence, and who knows what he might do in that kind of state.
As much as it was bleeding, she wasn't feeling the pain as much as she should have. Dealing with so much of her own problems back in Facility, this was a minor scratch compared to the injuries she actually sustained physically, and mentally. She was still somewhat light headed to stop him from tugging her forward again after pulling away from her. She shuddered briefly when she felt his tongue on her collarbone and running down her neck.
She had a firm grip on him still just in case, while he was doing that until he stopped, but his lips were still on her neck. It was a really odd sensation for her and she's not sure what to think about it. ]
Guilt...? Blood...?
[ She mumbled softly, not making any movement to push him away. If it was comforting for him to be close, she wasn't going to fight it. Suddenly, she was being pulled even closer, hugging almost, She rested her arms around his waist, since she wasn't sure exactly where they were going. ]
...Wh-Why are you asking me this right now, Zero?
[ She was lost on why the topic was brought up and what he meant by guilt and blood. She knew that he was telling the truth though. She had a strong amount of guilt buried in the back of her mind. She couldn't talk about it, at least, not with him-- not yet. Still, he was asking and she didn't know how he found out. ]
Ugh! I don't even know why he even keeps you! You're nothing but trouble!
[Comforting or not, Zero pulls away and in one swift movement he wipes the blood from his lips on the sleeve of his jacket. He doesn't look at her.]
......
[She doesn't know. Doesn't realize what he saw. Felt. Slowly, his hand comes up to touch his lips. The subconscious gesture goes unnoticed by him, as he gathers his thoughts, turning them over to come up with the words to tell her... to explain.]
In my world.... when a vampire drinks someone's blood... Their thoughts. Memories. Feelings. They're all stored in the blood. And you... [his gaze moves up to look at her] there was guilt. An overwhelming guilt.
Because he loves her? IDEK she just attracts people... sorry Zero :|
[ She's sitting there after a moment, giving him a blank stare, waiting for him to explain what he said to her earlier since she didn't quite understand at all. She kind of thought maybe he meant something by those words. Though, it wasn't clicking for her. When he looked away from her after pulling away it only confused her more. ]
...
[ When he explained it to her, Ishtar brought a hand up to her face, and the fingers rested under her chin for a moment, her lips pursed together trying to understand and it made sense. The way he said it. Emotions in the blood. She didn't know that some vampires could do that-- specifically those of Zero's world it seems. ]
... AH-- is that it?
[ Her brows knitted together. How was she going to explain this without getting into an argument? She didn't want to talk about it, but Zero wasn't going to let it go. ]
What... What else did you see, or feel besides that?
[ She was going to try to be calm-- Keyword is trying. ]
[He watches her closes, taking note of every small gesture. She's trying to avoid it. For now, he'll let her.]
Your childhood. Parts of it. Your love for your family. Your worry, guilt. But most of all your sense of duty to them, to your people. [He cocks his head.] Your feelings for them - Yujinn, Darres, Duzell.
[ For now, maybe. She can't avoid it forever. She knows that. Zero was always perceptive on her behviour. If it was out of her usual, then he would know. She wasn't good at acting around him anyway. ]
...Ah....
[ Yujinn, Darres and Duzell. Those names uttered made her chest tighten. She lowered her hand to her chest. A frown easily made its way on her face. So he saw a lot of things that she had not told anyone-- not even Zero. He looked worried, and concerned, but she wasn't sure what to say. ]
Yeah, I had a rough childhood and my family situation was pretty hectic. Though, you knew all of that, right? I think I told you a little about it, but probably not as much as I should have.
[ She nodded her head. Though, she assumed it was easier to talk about Pheliosta than it was to talk about Facility. She wasn't really in the mood for it, but after the last time she hid something from him, she didn't want to repeat the same thing again. ]
Facility...?
[ She mused, keeping her head down. What could she possibly feel extreme guilt for? She knew that she had felt guilty for not being able to protect certain people or the loss of others, but she didn't really know until he mused again.
Sebastian.
Ishtar almost cringed at the thought. Sebastian was a strange man, whom she had helped despite what had happened to her during that time. He did tell her that he was under some kind of influence, but at the same time it instilled caution with Ishtar. Yet, he had helped her in several other ways. ]
...Blood... and Sebastian... that--
[ She closed her eyes. ]
... Did you just see blood, and him, but nothing else?
[ She was trying to forget that memory, really. The thought of names being brought up along with things. She doesn't know what he's seen and what he hasn't seen. She doesn't know where to start.
She puts hand to her head as he lets go of her. ]
Sebastian-- he under the influence of Facility--
[ She paused ] He killed me. [ There's no point in hiding that after all he was already upset with the research tower event. What more damage could this one be? Facility was far worse of an experience than Cerealia at this point. ]
[The words sink in deeper, penetrating past the initial shock until he snaps forward, grabbing her shoulder and encasing her within his arms as he swallows past the shock, while his heart beats rapidly in his chest.]
I don't remember much. I kind of try not to, you know?
[ She choked a reply. The last things he needed to remember was that death. ] It happened pretty quickly.
[ Painless, to say the least but she could see the worry on his face, and falling on her eyes and her expression. There wasn't any other way to say what he wanted to hear. Being the way she was and in the position she was, she was taken by surprise when he pulled her again against him. She could hear the faint sounds of his heart beat, and all she could down was hug him in return.
Honestly, this situation was becoming odd. ]
E-Easy there, Zero. I'm fine, really.
[ though the guilt was a whole other story and a whole can of worms she's not sure she wants to open up right now. The red was probably something far worse than Sebastian killing her. ]
[He held her in his arms, fingers locked at the nape of her hair entwined within the dark locks until he heard her speak words that held little meaning to a heart that was breaking beneath a confession he had prayed never to hear again. The way she dismissed it, as if her death could mean so little to him. She had died just like Ichiru... just like his parents. And he? He continued to live unable to save the only people who mattered to him. What did it matter how strong he'd grown if he couldn't even protect them?! And here she was, speaking to him as if it meant nothing. As if he should feel nothing. But he wasn't a machine, and yet they always expected him to accept it as fact, as if it didn't tear him apart knowing he had lost them.]
.....
[He pulled away, his eyes drowning in a sea of grey. If she wanted him to accept it like a machine then he'd do it. After everything she'd done for him, it was the least he could do.]
Whe--
[The lump in his throat was lodged so deep he couldn't swallow past it. It hurt to speak. To sit there and pretend he wasn't breaking, but he pushed past it. For her, he pushed past it.]
[ ever since she arrived here, this form of comfort had been helping her significantly in a manner that she can't quite understand but she felt safe. His gestures comforting to her who had been a little light headed. Even though he looked better physically, she could tell the way she spoke worried him.
Zero wasn't the type of person that would easily brush past death. She hardly knew about his parents or Ichiru's death. She did understand that she might have been too casual Wythe her response, this she looked up at his pained expression, lightly brushing her fingers against his face. She swallowed the words she wanted to say. 'It's not your fault.' Even if she said that he would still feel responsible.
Her brows knitted together more at his expression. She lowered her hand after that gesture, looking down. She never wanted him to know certain things. They all were like cans of worms waiting to be opened. ]
I'm sorry Zero. I know this is a lot on you after what we argued over. I never meant for any of that to happen. As for Sebastian, it was a while after you were taken from the facility.
[And there lay the answer. It was the same with Ichiru. She had died because he hadn't been there.]
......
[It was a hard pill to swallow, too hard. He looked away unable to look at her and remain whole, already his facade was cracking but he kept the pieces from falling apart.]
[ Ishtar looked a little more worried as his reaction was not normal. She was used to him getting a bit angry if anything, yet at the same time, he wasn't doing any of that. His tone was strained and she knew it. She hugged him instead, tightly, squeezing his waist. ]
I'm always causing you all kinds of worry don't I?
[ She said softly, if not a bit sadly. It wasn't like he had control over what the Facility wanted with them. They took people as they pleased and returned them just the same. Zero wouldn't have been able to do much even if he tried, especially against a force like that. It took them forever just to end the carnage, and even then, everything felt extremely empty.
She still remembered freshly, how many bodies she, Zero and Lavi had buried of the Consortium after their deaths. Then the deaths of their comrades, and those they held dear. One by one, they were falling. Ishtar fought back the thoughts that were resurfacing, keeping herself held together as much as she could. It was hard to admit that she was falling apart. ]
[ She shook her head. She was feeling uneasy with his lack of action. He was usually more animated than this. He tone was sad as she continued. ]
What have we become, really?
[ Rhetorical, if anything. The answers were clear. There was little to delve on. ]
I wasn't trying to lie to you.. The subjects were never brought up.
Sometimes, I don't want to talk about it and others, I'd rather not worry you or anyone else about. Maybe I've always been like this and it got worse as the times passed.
[ She paused. ]
No one ever wanted to listen to me before. No one wanted to hear what I had to say, or ask what I wanted. I guess somewhere along the way, it became natural... you know-- not necessarily lying, but just-- not saying anything at all.
![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
xroyal_bratx) wrote2015-10-12 02:39 pm
I was already sobbing and you are a mess with your man tears!
The feeling was still uncomfortable as continued to drink on her blood, but Ishtar was a bit surprised when he suddenly pulled away from her. There's a bit of a wince at the sudden retraction. She was blankly looking at his face for a moment, smeared with her blood. She felt a bit light headed, but if anything it wasn't something she couldn't quickly take care of.
It took her a moment to register what he had to say, but she was also light headed so after a few minutes of silence she managed to speak softly to him. ]
...W-What? What do you mean?
[ She knitted her brows together. His eyes were still red and she reached to wipe off the smear of blood that was on his lips. ]
Are you feeling okay? You look really confused.
You STFU! How dare you call him out like this!
He stayed in place even when the blood had finally coagulated, his lips buried in her neck as the enormity of the guilt he'd felt coming from her fully seeped into his blood. What had happened to make her?]
... The guilt. It was in your blood. It -- [His hands ran down her shoulders, until his arms curled around her waist bringing her closer.] What happened to you there?
Part of being a brat don't you know? XD
As much as it was bleeding, she wasn't feeling the pain as much as she should have. Dealing with so much of her own problems back in Facility, this was a minor scratch compared to the injuries she actually sustained physically, and mentally. She was still somewhat light headed to stop him from tugging her forward again after pulling away from her. She shuddered briefly when she felt his tongue on her collarbone and running down her neck.
She had a firm grip on him still just in case, while he was doing that until he stopped, but his lips were still on her neck. It was a really odd sensation for her and she's not sure what to think about it. ]
Guilt...? Blood...?
[ She mumbled softly, not making any movement to push him away. If it was comforting for him to be close, she wasn't going to fight it. Suddenly, she was being pulled even closer, hugging almost, She rested her arms around his waist, since she wasn't sure exactly where they were going. ]
...Wh-Why are you asking me this right now, Zero?
[ She was lost on why the topic was brought up and what he meant by guilt and blood. She knew that he was telling the truth though. She had a strong amount of guilt buried in the back of her mind. She couldn't talk about it, at least, not with him-- not yet. Still, he was asking and she didn't know how he found out. ]
Ugh! I don't even know why he even keeps you! You're nothing but trouble!
......
[She doesn't know. Doesn't realize what he saw. Felt. Slowly, his hand comes up to touch his lips. The subconscious gesture goes unnoticed by him, as he gathers his thoughts, turning them over to come up with the words to tell her... to explain.]
In my world.... when a vampire drinks someone's blood... Their thoughts. Memories. Feelings. They're all stored in the blood. And you... [his gaze moves up to look at her] there was guilt. An overwhelming guilt.
Because he loves her? IDEK she just attracts people... sorry Zero :|
...
[ When he explained it to her, Ishtar brought a hand up to her face, and the fingers rested under her chin for a moment, her lips pursed together trying to understand and it made sense. The way he said it. Emotions in the blood. She didn't know that some vampires could do that-- specifically those of Zero's world it seems. ]
... AH-- is that it?
[ Her brows knitted together. How was she going to explain this without getting into an argument? She didn't want to talk about it, but Zero wasn't going to let it go. ]
What... What else did you see, or feel besides that?
[ She was going to try to be calm-- Keyword is trying. ]
She attracts all the WRONG people!!!
Your childhood. Parts of it. Your love for your family. Your worry, guilt. But most of all your sense of duty to them, to your people. [He cocks his head.] Your feelings for them - Yujinn, Darres, Duzell.
You cared for them.
welllllll it happens?
...Ah....
[ Yujinn, Darres and Duzell. Those names uttered made her chest tighten. She lowered her hand to her chest. A frown easily made its way on her face. So he saw a lot of things that she had not told anyone-- not even Zero. He looked worried, and concerned, but she wasn't sure what to say. ]
Yeah, I had a rough childhood and my family situation was pretty hectic. Though, you knew all of that, right? I think I told you a little about it, but probably not as much as I should have.
[ The guilt. ]
It happens ALL the time!
You don't need to tell me anything, Ishtar. But the guilt I felt. It's not from back then. It's from the Facility.
[He looks at her.]
There was blood. Sebastian was there and someone else.
What happened?
She doesn't do it on purpose okay?!
Facility...?
[ She mused, keeping her head down. What could she possibly feel extreme guilt for? She knew that she had felt guilty for not being able to protect certain people or the loss of others, but she didn't really know until he mused again.
Sebastian.
Ishtar almost cringed at the thought. Sebastian was a strange man, whom she had helped despite what had happened to her during that time. He did tell her that he was under some kind of influence, but at the same time it instilled caution with Ishtar. Yet, he had helped her in several other ways. ]
...Blood... and Sebastian... that--
[ She closed her eyes. ]
... Did you just see blood, and him, but nothing else?
Yeah. Sure she doesn't.
[His hands slide away from her, letting his hold on her go.]
she really doesn't It just happens sersly :<
[ She was trying to forget that memory, really. The thought of names being brought up along with things. She doesn't know what he's seen and what he hasn't seen. She doesn't know where to start.
She puts hand to her head as he lets go of her. ]
Sebastian-- he under the influence of Facility--
[ She paused ] He killed me. [ There's no point in hiding that after all he was already upset with the research tower event. What more damage could this one be? Facility was far worse of an experience than Cerealia at this point. ]
1/?
2/?
----
[She had--- He stares at her, silver eyes falling to her face, her eyes.]
How-- [His voice cracks, forcing him to swallow past the lump lodged in his throat but its too thick, too big.]
3/?
4/4
no subject
[ She choked a reply. The last things he needed to remember was that death. ] It happened pretty quickly.
[ Painless, to say the least but she could see the worry on his face, and falling on her eyes and her expression. There wasn't any other way to say what he wanted to hear. Being the way she was and in the position she was, she was taken by surprise when he pulled her again against him. She could hear the faint sounds of his heart beat, and all she could down was hug him in return.
Honestly, this situation was becoming odd. ]
E-Easy there, Zero. I'm fine, really.
[ though the guilt was a whole other story and a whole can of worms she's not sure she wants to open up right now. The red was probably something far worse than Sebastian killing her. ]
no subject
.....
[He pulled away, his eyes drowning in a sea of grey. If she wanted him to accept it like a machine then he'd do it. After everything she'd done for him, it was the least he could do.]
Whe--
[The lump in his throat was lodged so deep he couldn't swallow past it. It hurt to speak. To sit there and pretend he wasn't breaking, but he pushed past it. For her, he pushed past it.]
When... did it happen?
no subject
Zero wasn't the type of person that would easily brush past death. She hardly knew about his parents or Ichiru's death. She did understand that she might have been too casual Wythe her response, this she looked up at his pained expression, lightly brushing her fingers against his face. She swallowed the words she wanted to say. 'It's not your fault.' Even if she said that he would still feel responsible.
Her brows knitted together more at his expression. She lowered her hand after that gesture, looking down. She never wanted him to know certain things. They all were like cans of worms waiting to be opened. ]
I'm sorry Zero. I know this is a lot on you after what we argued over. I never meant for any of that to happen. As for Sebastian, it was a while after you were taken from the facility.
1/2
Don't.
You don't need to apologize, Ishtar.
[She didn't need to hold back because of him, yet he knew now that it was exactly what she'd been doing. All this time...]
2/2
......
[It was a hard pill to swallow, too hard. He looked away unable to look at her and remain whole, already his facade was cracking but he kept the pieces from falling apart.]
no subject
I'm always causing you all kinds of worry don't I?
[ She said softly, if not a bit sadly. It wasn't like he had control over what the Facility wanted with them. They took people as they pleased and returned them just the same. Zero wouldn't have been able to do much even if he tried, especially against a force like that. It took them forever just to end the carnage, and even then, everything felt extremely empty.
She still remembered freshly, how many bodies she, Zero and Lavi had buried of the Consortium after their deaths. Then the deaths of their comrades, and those they held dear. One by one, they were falling. Ishtar fought back the thoughts that were resurfacing, keeping herself held together as much as she could. It was hard to admit that she was falling apart. ]
no subject
... So do I.
[He never looked up.]
When was it that you couldn't tell me truth anymore?
no subject
[ She shook her head. She was feeling uneasy with his lack of action. He was usually more animated than this. He tone was sad as she continued. ]
What have we become, really?
[ Rhetorical, if anything. The answers were clear. There was little to delve on. ]
I wasn't trying to lie to you.. The subjects were never brought up.
Sometimes, I don't want to talk about it and others, I'd rather not worry you or anyone else about. Maybe I've always been like this and it got worse as the times passed.
[ She paused. ]
No one ever wanted to listen to me before. No one wanted to hear what I had to say, or ask what I wanted. I guess somewhere along the way, it became natural... you know-- not necessarily lying, but just-- not saying anything at all.
no subject
What do you want, Ishtar?
1/2
....
[ She doesn't even know how to answer that. ]
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